Kay’s Kitchen: The Real Reality

By Kay Luckett

Last fall I returned as a very tender soul from a five-day workshop at The Meadows in Wickenburg, AZ. Our therapy groups dug deeply into all my personal issues: my family of origin where I was “less than nurtured” (that opened Pandora’s Box), relationship traumas (aren’t they synonymous?) and my core issues centering on the F word, “feelings”.

I discovered problems with intimacy, enmeshment, control and more. All of these problem areas would show up as some kind of feeling or another. I learned to identify the location in my body where I discovered the sensation, and that the sensation corresponded with a feeling or thought. I began to see the intellectual meanings I had assigned to my feelings and the emotional assumptions I had fabricated about them. I learned that these meanings and assumptions were my own creations. At times during the process, I surmised that I was just plain nuts.


I explored my emotional sobriety and discovered that, despite all my so-called problems, I was, and still am valuable and precious. I am as worthy and valuable as everyone else. My mantra for that week was, “I am enough.” I wore a post-it note on my shirt proclaiming this fact. Though difficult, facing these challenges has brought me to my present bottom-line belief that in every instance the solution comes down to love. It’s all about finding love – God’s love, spiritual love, whatever love – and that, in reality, is self-love in our very core.

Now that I am back in the swing of life, I see that one of the surest signs I am backing away from my own mental health occurs when I lose the ability to laugh at myself. When I become dreadfully serious, the whole world becomes “all about me”. That is the moment I recognize my need “to be restored to sanity”.

I am able look at myself unconditionally and see that I am growing; I am not going crazy. I was told that in recovery we do not have nervous breakdowns; we have nervous breakthroughs. In keeping with my strong faith in that axiom and my growth experience at The Meadows, I find that trusting the help I receive from my God and from others in recovery is quite sane. GOD: Good Orderly Direction.

Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality.” My real reality is the experience I have when I have done my spiritual work and am able to get past my problems to find my core, my very being, which is always love. God is love.

So what does it all mean, this love, this core, this search for mental health and emotional sobriety? It means “Live, Love, Laugh”. It is doing the hokey pokey and turning myself around. That’s what it’s all about.

So while we are doing the hokey pokey, please turn yourselves around and have some of Sadie’s Chocolate Pie. Dance, love, eat and enjoy. That’s what it’s all about!

Sadie’s Chocolate Pecan Caramel Pie

One store-bought 9” graham cracker pie crust

40 vanilla or plain caramel candies, bite-sized (about 1½ packages of candy bites)
½ cup whipping cream
3 ½ cups chopped pecans

½ cup semisweet chocolate chips
2 tsp butter
2 Tbs whipping cream

Chop and toast pecans. Melt caramels with ½ cup whipping cream. Add pecans to melted caramel mixture and stir well. Spread onto bottom of pie shell.

Melt chocolate chips with butter in a fresh sauce pan. Add 2 Tbs whipping cream and stir to blend. Pour and smooth over top of pie. Refrigerate at least one hour to make sure filling is firm.

Kay Luckett

Kay Luckett

Kay Luckett has been in recovery since 1997. She formerly owned Memorable Occasions, a catering company in Los Angeles, where she produced and catered events for over 20 years. Her biggest thrill was catering for Julia Child. She is currently working in the recovery field and is a student at Yavapai College majoring in counseling. She may be reached at kayskitchen@inrecoverymagazine.com or using the contact form below.

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